"The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing." -John Powell

After your relationship is over, when the dust starts to settle and you begin to pick up the pieces, is the time you begin to regret all of the wasted time spent in trying to make your partner-see the light. While in the relationship you are so determined to have things work out the way you want, that time wasn't even an issue.

We approach this relentless pursuit of trying to right what is wrong so diligently, that we lose track of time. We are so consumed with making things work that we refuse to admit the truth, and in turn we keep hanging in there.

It's when we look back and can clearly see there was a point that our heartfelt attempts were in vain that the remorse of time wasted begins to set in. Ultimately, the outcome was the same whether we waited another year or two, or ten. But...now that you can see the light, it's time to put the past behind you, cut your losses and don't waste another precious minute regretting what you can't do a thing about now.

Many people continue lamenting this loss of time so long that it becomes a self-imposed prison. Why do you want to go over and over in your mind what was, what could've been and how bad you feel about what happened? What is your point? The best thing you can do is to accept the fact that it's over, and start right this minute to begin putting it behind you.

All of the fretting, regret and introspection doesn't help, it hurts you. There is no benefit to re-living the past over and over again wishing things would've worked out differently. You've already wasted months or perhaps years hoping and wishing-to no avail. As difficult as it may be, now is the time to face the reality that you need to move on. Letting go of the past comes with time-just make sure that when you let go, you let go of all of it.

There are times in life when things simply don't work out the way we want. It's just the way it goes. But, ultimately you have to get your head on straight and understand the negative impact of holding on to something that's over. If you continue to focus on your remorse and disappointment, how do you expect to feel?

Every time you catch yourself feeling bad, use your feelings as an indication that what you are telling yourself about this situation is what is keeping you stuck. Stop yourself and begin to focus on what you want your future to look like from this point forward. Project yourself living your life filled with love, wealth, health and all that you desire.

There's a whole world out there waiting for you. Don't hold onto the past. Venture forward. It's out there-you just have to stop wasting any more of your time and go after it.

Read more about it in the book, "There Is Life After What's-His-Name"

©2009 Susan Russo

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