No Time for Romance?
by
"Whatever you do, don't let life get in the way of romance". They don't call Kara Oh the "Heart Specialist" for nothing. For years, she's been urging her readers---male and female, married and single---to put romance at the center of their relationships, and keep it there. Kara knows how easy it is for couples to let romance slip into the background as their relationship matures, but she also knows how unfulfilling a life without romance can be. Men are usually believed to be the guilty parties when it comes to the death of romance, and, indeed, just two weeks ago I wrote a Valentine's piece on how men can, and should, introduce little expressions of love into their daily lives. But women, despite the lip service they give to romance, are sometimes just as guilty as men in neglecting it. Just about every woman I know tries to be everything to everybody. If they're not shuttling their kids to one sports practice or another, they're acting as caregivers to their aging parents, psychologists to their needy friends, and volunteers to every organization in town. They're conscientious to a fault at work, they do chores at home that their husbands should be doing...the list goes on and on. With all this on their plate, how can women possibly make room for romance? My answer is simple: take some things off the plate. You can start with your kids. No, I'm not advocating child neglect, but you don't necessarily have to be micromanaging every aspect of your kids' lives. Unless they're infants or toddlers, they need time away from you, unstructured time when they can just be with their friends or by themselves; when they can be, simply, kids. Aging parents often do need help, but if the help you give them never seems to be enough, you may have inadvertently created more of a dependency than is necessary. And if their lives really are falling apart, maybe you need to bring in outside help, or insist that other family members share the burden. (It may be true that your brothers and sisters are "useless", but that's only because no one has ever demanded that they be useful). Learn to say a polite "No" to friends, neighbors, co-workers, and everyone else who asks for your time when you don't have any to give. Be selective: put more of your energy into fewer activities. Do what you can, and then stop. And when you stop, relax and reflect. Think about what's good in your relationship. Remember the way things used to be and figure out how to get back there. Plan a special night for just the two of you. Inject some flirtaciousness into your conversations. And always remember that a marriage is, or should be, more than a household partnership, more than just an efficient system for raising kids, paying bills, and fulfilling obligations to the rest of the world. It should be the way to connect---and keep on connecting---with your best self and with the person you chose as your lifetime lover. Jim Duzak, the "Attorney at Love", is a divorce lawyer, divorce mediator, former dating service owner, and the author of Mid-Life Divorce and the Rebirth of Commitment (Cold Tree Press, 2007). His blog, Jim Duzak's Quote & Comment, can be accessed through his website, www.attorneyatlove.com. You can contact him directly at , or purchase his book through amazon or any other online bookseller. ©2008 Show All Articles By Jim Duzak
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If you and your girlfriends have ever laughed that you need an "owner's manual" for men, this book is as close as you'll get. In just a few hours of fun reading, you will be getting an understanding of men so deep that you will actually know them better than they know themselves. It's like evesdropping on his private thoughts. And as soon as you begin to put the secrets into practice you will start to notice him responding. It's a bit like magic because it will seem almost too easy. Like getting the recipe for an ancient love potion. And are you going to have fun. ;-) If you're married, you're going to wake him up and grab his attention. You'll find him responding to you like way-back-when. If you're single and looking, you'll have men perking up all around you. If you've been dating long enough and he needs a nudge, well, hold on for a fun ride because you're going to jump start his heart into fast gear. Thousands of women have used the secrets with amazing results and so can you. For less than the price of a couple of movie tickets your dream of a romantic, love-filled relationship can be yours. And why not, you deserve it. Best of all... you could be reading this powerful life-changing book just minutes from now. |
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