Three Years of Tears

Dear Dr. Neder

I am hopelessly in love with a girl I met 3 years ago at a concert. She means the world to me! I'd give up the rest of my life to spend one night with her on a more than friend level.

She has a Boyfriend but I truly care for her. I've tried to move on to different girls but I always end up talking to her after the end of the last relationship. She knows how I feel because I've told her.

We've kissed and made-out and it was magic. She tells me if anything would happen between her and her boyfriend that she would come to me. I feel second best but I don't care. I only wish she could feel how i feel. Every time i see a picture of them or see them together it hurts.

Is there anything i can do to help make her feelings for me stronger?

Hello!

Hello!

There might be, but I fear you've done far too much damage here to fix things.

Think about this: 3 years. It's been 3 years and you never bothered to even learn any of the skills you needed to turn this around. You're sitting there with an unhealthy addiction to this girl rather than having lifted a finger to learn anything. Only now - 3 years later - are you seeking help.

Don't you think this girl sees this? Of course she does! You've just spent the last 3 years proving to her that you're NOT the guy she wants! How are you ever going to turn that around? If you had, she'd have dumped her loser boyfriend for you in a heartbeat. To be honest, she's probably clinging to him even harder now out of fear she'd HAVE to be with you.

I'm not trying to undermine your confidence here; I'm trying to get you to wake the hell up already! Women need very clear, specific things in order to feel attraction for someone. Instead of giving her these things (or even knowing what they are!) you've sat back and waited...and waited and waited for something out side to change rather than being a man and changing them yourself.

Well, here it is 3 years later and NOTHING has changed other than the fact that your addiction for her has grown beyond what is reasonable and is now into cartoon-land. It's pathetic - but for you AND for this poor girl! I feel more sorry for her than I do for you because you seem like a nice guy and she'd probably be very happy being with you, if you could only show her that by doing just about everything you've done so far exactly backwards!

In effect, any feelings she's had for you have probably been destroyed! What it's going to take now, you're very likely not going to do anyway! After all, you've spent the last 3 years not doing them, why should you change? This is going to be far harder than you think it will be.

I know I'm not going to talk you out of this ridiculous situation, but here's what you need to do now: first start by going to my website (http://BeingAMan.com) and clicking on "self help". From there; read my FAQ's - in particular about how to turn a friend into something more. Be sure to read the articles. Also read about why boyfriends aren't your problem (actually, for you it IS your problem because you've made it one!)

I also strongly suggest you read my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II" and start learning what this girl (and frankly, ALL girls) need from men. Until you know these things and are able to deliver, you simply have no chance here.

Best regards...

Getting Her Back ... For Good

It's unfortunate that the only men who are likely to read this book are those who are already in a breakup. It would be a huge help to those that are on the way to losing their women and aren't even aware of it.

Getting Her Back ... For Good isn't about manipulations and sneaky techniques to get a girl back, it's about the root problems you need to fix if you want to get her back for good.

The reasons she gives you for leaving aren't the real reasons, even if she thinks they are. There's a deeper reason and you need to understand it.

You need to face some hard facts about who you are and why she's gone. Getting Her Back ... For Good is somewhat brutal, but you need to understand and apply what Michael has to say if you want to stand a chance of restoring your relationship with her.

Unfortunately the book doesn't give any example of how to make the first contact or what to say or do when the time does come, however if you've read, understood and applied what Michael has to say you will be in a far better position than you are now.

Listen the odds are against you but even if you don't get her back this book will prepare you for the next women that comes into your life and keep you from making the same mistakes again.

For more info go to
The Getting Her Back ... For Good Website