The Singles Cafe

Love is Gone

by Ruth Purple

Sense that he is just not that into you? It often seems easier to stick it out in a one-sided romance, then to accept the fact that love is gone. Try to hold onto hope that your guy will come to his senses, than to walk away. Just because he's not making any moves to end things doesn't mean he's committed. Men so dislike confrontation they'd rather ride out a so-so relationship rather then be the one to call it quits. When he doesn't love you back, clinging to a failing relationship can be emotionally damaging. Not only are you dragging out the pain and unhappiness when love is gone but your confidence and self-respect will take a major hit as well.

Your best gamble is to save face and extricate. One major reason for not learning to let go to a man whose love is gone is the fear of spending night after night alone. You've gotten yourself used to your man being there and you'd rather have him around even if he is just not that into you are very difficult for you to accept. This depends on how long you've been together, you may have invested a lot of emotional energy with your man and bailing seems like such a waste. Once you've admit to yourself that its over and you need to get out, this can be hurtful because you feel rejected.

The first step to cutting ties is to take an honest look at the relationship. Some signs that the love is gone like he doesn't feel as strongly as you do. Is he distant, doesn't seem outwardly excited to see you, or never wants to see your family. If you constantly feel you're on the brink of losing him, you probably are. Comparing facts with fiction will help you accept that the love is gone. Make a mental list of all the things you wish the relationship was and then think how it really is now. How would you truly know that love is gone? Reflect on it.

The hurt is less about losing the man himself and more about not having someone. Focus on his bad side instead of concentrating on the good ones. Don't wander down the memory lane about your good times together and ask yourself the "what did I do wrong?" road. Maybe this guy was too dumb to appreciate you, but that doesn't mean you're a loser. If the love is gone with your man it for the reason that you're just not a good match. It's better you broke it off early then live in regret for the months or years you've spent your time being there for him.

Snap out of it----get involve in ego boosting diversions like working out and job goals. You'll even be a sexier catch when you meet the real love of your life.

The author of this article Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth recently published a new home study course on how to get your cheating spouse back. More info about this "Winning Your Man Back From Infidelity" program is available at http://www.YouCanGetHimBack.com.

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©2010 Ruth Purple

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