Do you ever find yourself being accused for being cold, distance, and unemotional. Sometimes women tend to see things a lot different than men. What may seem cold and distant could be tired or stressed for you. You may find that these things can cause a huge space between you and your mate and you will find that it can cause a rift between you two.

The key to handle situations like this is to bring the conversation back to her. Let her talk. When she asks why you are being so rude or cold, you should never get defensive. What you should do is ask her what she is really talking about. Ask her why she feels that you are being cold. Then you should explain to her how you truly feel. Sometimes you may not realize that you are being cold and takes that extra person to tell you how you are acting. You may just need an extra person to tell you about your body language

Once you have thought about how you are carrying yourself you need reevaluate how you may feel. Was there anything that happened today that upset you? You may not realize that there are things that happen in your day and you may just be taking it all out on your wife.

Don't feel like you are being attacked or accused because she feels like you are being cold. She is thinking and wondering what she may have done to make you feel cold or distant. If you don't get defensive about her comment, then you will be able to make the situation turn from a negative to a positive. You will be able to assure her of how well the relationship is going, and you may even be able to get some things of your chest. You may find yourself wanting to tell her about how rough your day was and how relieved you are.

Even if you do explode, you can always find a way to come back and make the situation better. You can get your anger off your chest, however, you have to come back and explain yourself. You need to talk to your wife about what is really causing you to feel the need to pull away. Then you need to ask her to understand that sometimes you are so tired and even depressed. It just sometimes feels like you do everything that you can and not get any credit and that is a legitimate reason to want to just sit on the couch and wind down. However, you have to think about her too.

You have to think about things like why she feels so insecure to tell you that you are cold and distant. You may not be the problem at all; it may be all her issues that are really peaking out. If you take the time to ask her how she is or who day went, then you won't be seen as distant, but she will see your coldness as being tired. If you give just a little bit to your wife when you come home, you will find that you'll have less fights or arguments. You won't have to get defensive and she won't ask you about things like being cold.

Also, women love to talk. If you don't want to talk to them, they feel like it is them that's the problem. You need to allow her to talk to you. You don't have to say much, however, you have to listen with comprehension. Show her that you care by giving her the time to tell you about her problems When you talk to her, let her guide the conversation. You also need to give her signs that you care. Like when you come home and she accuses you of being distant you should give her a hug, tell her your sorry, and then ask her about her day. That way it takes the focus off you and then places the attention back onto your wife.

If you take the time to reassure your wife of her insecurities in the relationship you will find yourself in a better relationship. If you take the time to just tell her about your day, she'll feel better and you will have some assurance that your behavior is not coldness, but just from the daily grind. It also would help your relationship if you are more open to your wife. Also, the problem my not be you at all. The problem may be that she had a rough day and is taking it out on you. By talking you are able to move the communication from a negative to a positive.

©2006

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